Tug!!!

"Ninety percent I'll spend on good times, women, and Irish whiskey.
The other ten percent I'll probably waste."
- Phillies pitcher Tug McGraw, on his plans for his $75,000 salary

Satch!

"Money and women. They're two of the strongest things in the world.
The things you do for a woman you wouldn't do for anything else.
Same with money."
- Kansas City Monarchs pitcher Satchel Paige

U L

The Legend of U L Washington

16 Vote

by user Manny Stiles

Every so often, Earth is blessed with a being that encompasses the attributes of presence, flavah and originality. This time, I am not referring to myself, but to the man known as U L Washington.

U L, which is actually his real name not just his initials, played 11 seasons of Major League Baseball from 1977-1987. He spent most of his career as a shortstop and for the majority of his career with the Kansas City Royals (Of course, I'll always remember him as a Montreal Expo).

So if you don't remember U L, weren't born yet or haven't heard about his unique story, you look at his stats, and you wonder... WHY THE HELL would Stiles write an article about U L freeking Washington? (his comparable stats by age 31-33 compare closely to H Wagner... Heinie Wagner, that is...)

Quite simple, friends:

The toothpick!

U L Washington played with a toothpick in his mouth at all times! Fielding, batting, running the bases, sliding, diving, hi-fiving his teammates... U L had the toothpick dangling 'tween his lips.

I can think of no one in the history of baseball that had such a gimmick. Lots of guys used chaw or slapped their mandible on wads of bubble gum, but the toothpick? Sheer, original genius! I can't look at a toothpick to this very day without hearing the wind whisper... "U L, U L...."

Sure, Nomar has his OCD routine, Mike Hargrove did his Cleveland Indian rain dance, Craig Counsell is... well, a little weird but these guys didn't take those shenanigans into the field or dugout... or into interviews after the game. Johnny Damon's hair was nothing new. Rollie Fingers mustache didn't take any coordination to remain on his face. Wade Boggs ate chicken before every game. Shawon Dunston would put his cross pendant in his mouth before every at-bat. Turk Wendell wore a string of animal parts around his neck, but so what? Even amongst these freeks, U L was unique!

Maybe in the late 1800's there was a guy who played with a pipe, a top hat or something, which would make for a cool story, but I can't remember back that far, personally. I do remember seeing a picture of Babe Ruth playing an exhibition game in Japan while holding an umbrella (they didn't have rain delays), but that was a one-time occurance.

Dusty Baker? Puh-leeeze! Splinterlip Poser. Dental Tool Imitator. Mouthwood Wannabe. Maybe even toothpick user out of reverence for U L. But not the true originator.

Keep in mind, I just turned 7 years old when the Phillies defeated the Kansas City Royals in the 1980 World Series. Sure the image of Willie Wilson pulling out early from his wild swing, striking out badly as Tug McGraw was leaping into Bob Boone's nepotismatic arms in jubilation will be burned in the memories of Phils Phans forever. However, I will forever see that charasmatic U L looking as cool as the other side of a cucumber, slickly fielding grounders, taking his hacks with a bat that looked as big as he was, burning up the basepaths, all the while dangling the mouthwood.

He was poised. He had a style all his own. He had no endorsement deals with some soulless toothpick company. Of course, he had his imitators. As a kid, I often rocked the lip lumber whenever I played any form of baseball - wiffleball, video games, Little League. I even tried to blow my euro-fro out just like his lidstuffer, to little avail.

Over a short time, the toothpick gimmick became popular with 'the kids' elsewhere, too. And like all things fun to kids, parents began to complain and write U L letters requesting him to stop. U L wasn't a jerk or a me-first kind of guy, he tried to comply by using a Q-tip in lieu of his trademark toothpick. U L loves the kids! Well, as any real baseball fan knows, ALL baseball players are extremely superstitious. U L promptly went into the tank with the new mouth utensil, possibly suffering from cottonmouth and that was the end of that! Back to the spit splinter he went. It worked for him and just felt right!

But a sad thing happened one day in 1983 or 1984. I was watching the sports part of the evening news, maybe a handful of people paid attention other than me, my friends and U L himself; the announcement was made - Toothpicks were BANNED from the field of play by MLB!!!

I don't remember all the specific details (couldn't find it online as news from the 80's rarely is online), but essentially a minor leaguer/copycat who tried to follow in U L's legendary footsteps was injured when a grounder took an errant hop and popped him right in the toothpick!!! So like all things corporate, overreactions were made, rules were written and U L was basically punished for being the pacesetter (like they couldn't 'grandfather' him in)

That was the begining of the end for our hero. Taking his toothpick was worse than taking his glove and bat from him. He was traded to a stacked Montreal squad before the '85 season (when the Royals won it all without him), then signed on with the Pirates a year later, but was never the same, going Mendoza without the 'pick, finally retiring at the end of the legendary 1987 season after playing only a measly 10 games. Without his trusty toothpick, his time was over, quick and painfully.

Today he is a minor league hitting coach for the Pawtucket Red Sox. After all he was pretty good with the wood.

P.S. - Another fine fact about U L - check out his Rookie Card. U L in the stiffbrim, Two (should be) Hall of Famers and a Klutts.

If U L played in times like today and toothpicks were never banned, you'd probably see 'game used' toothpicks on ebay or kids running out to the five and dime to waste their allowance on boxes of toothpicks (not the frilly ones either) instead of taking out a loan to buy baseball cards.

story taken from armchairgm.wikia.com

Larry Bowa goes off about Brad Penny

Larry Bowa reacts to Brad Penny

By Tony Jackson on February 17, 2009 10:31 AM

When told of Penny's comments about him this morning, Larry Bowa didn't even wait to find out what those comments were. He just went right into this beautiful little rant:

``You mean the same guy who was never on time, out of shape and has one complete game? He has more stuff to worry about in the A.L. East than me. He has to worry about getting people out. He was never on time, was out of shape and never helped the kids out. Put that on the (expletive) dot-com. Put it in the headline.''

Just to clarify, Brad has three career complete games. Larry might have been referring to the fact he had only ONE CG in his 4 1/2 seasons with the Dodgers, that a 2-1 duel with Pedro Martinez in which Jayson Werth hit a two-run homer in the bottom of the eighth to beat the Mets. But Bowa's point is not lost, nevertheless.

Wait, there's more:

``He never watched the game (when he was on the DL). Jason Schmidt watched the games. Nomar Garciaparra watched the games. Mark Sweeney watched the games. You go right down the line, everybody who was on the DL watched the games. But not him. He was out of there.''

And finally, there was this:

``I'm in everybody's corner when they work. When they're lazy and don't work. I could give a (well, you get the picture).''

Joe Torre and Ned Colletti basically declined comment, but Joe did say something funny.

``I don't want to talk about that,'' he said. ``I'll write about that in my next book.''

Ned, who loves to wear cowboy boots, pointed out that Brad had promised to send him a couple of pairs but hasn't done so yet. Other than that, Ned had little to say.

To the best of my knowledge, Larry STILL doesn't know exactly what Brad said about him. We never got the chance to tell him.

Oil Can Boyd Attempting To Come Back To MLB

• Here's something I can't believe I'm typing... can Dennis "Oil Can" Boyd make a Major League comeback at age 49? Oil Can hasn't pitched since 1991, but claims his velocity is back up in the low 90s, and his curveball is back to form. He's always dreamt of carrying on Satchel Paige's legend and pitching into his 60s. Boyd's quote:

""I have nothing to lose, and all a major league team has to lose is 15 minutes," said Boyd. "Give me 15 minutes and I'll show I can still pitch. That's all I want."

Boyd threw at the Red Sox fantasy camp, and former catcher Mike Stanley said that Oil Can's stuff is the same as it was 18 years ago, and his passion hasn't died down one bit.

Certainly an interesting story, but can he live up to his word?

taken from MLBrumors

Pot Smoker Wins Super Bowl

from www.veryimportantpotheads.com

February 2 - POT SMOKER WINS SUPERBOWL
Pittsburgh Steeler Santonio Holmes, who caught the winning touchdown in yesterday's Superbowl game, was charged with misdemeanor marijuana possession last October after a traffic stop in which police found a few "blunts" in his car. Holmes also made headlines on Jan. 28 when he announced that he had sold drugs in his youth in South Florida.

Holmes's historic catch came with 35 seconds left in the Superbowl, to give the Pittsburgh Steelers their record sixth Super Bowl title, a 27-23 victory over the Arizona Cardinals. Quarterback Ben Roethlisberger lofted the ball over the hands of three Arizona defenders, and Holmes leaped to get it - and somehow managed to drag both feet in bounds for the touchdown. Holmes was named MVP for the game

Pot Smoking NBA

taken from www.veryimportantpotheads.com

Maverick Outs NBA

On April 25, soft-spoken Dallas Mavericks forward Josh Howard said on a radio show that he likes marijuana and smokes it during the offseason hours before a playoff game against the New Orleans Hornets. "Most of the players in the league use marijuana and I have and do partake in smoking weed in the offseason sometimes," Howard said on The Michael Irvin Show on the ESPN Radio affiliate in Dallas, adding that ''everybody in the media world and in the sports world” knows it.

''That's my personal choice and my personal opinion,” Howard said, “I don't think that's stopping me from doing my job.'' Arguably so. Howard has averaged 15.2 points and 6.4 rebounds for his five-year NBA career and averaged 19.9 and 7.0 this past regular season. The Mavericks won Game 3 that night with Howard scoring 18 points, but the team ultimately lost the series, and Howard seemed to feel the pressure his admission brought him.

Mavericks owner and self-made billionaire Mark Cuban calmly commented, "It depends if we win or lose....If we win, 'Boy, it's amazing what guys do for motivation. It worked!" Cuban said. "If we lose, 'Oh, what a distraction."'

Howard’s admission brought one from commentator and T-Mobile spokesperson Charles Barkley, who put his use squarely in the court of his past. In 1993, the year he was voted the NBA’s most valuable player, Barkley made national news when he wrote the text for his "I am not a role model" Nike commercial.

In 2001, former NBA star Charles Oakley estimated that 60 percent of league's players used marijuana. The NBA's drug-testing policy allows for four tests per season. However, if the league has "probable cause," it can to test a player as often as it wants, including during the off-season, presuming the players' association agrees to the probable cause.

“Back in December, [Howard] scored a career-high 47 points against the Utah Jazz,” wrote Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun Times. “What if he smokes dope the way hard-charging executives chill out with a martini or two? And how many of those executives, offspring of the 1960s, now chase those martinis with a few tokes on a joint?”

“It's not right, but history shows that illegal drugs are usually the drugs that are out of favor with the ruling class,” Telander continued. “Drugs are made illegal, as long as enforcement mainly affects the poor and the underclass.” There’s an issue for the NBA.